Minority Mental Health Month has officially come to a close and I feel like addressing the unspoken truth of the lack of awareness of mental illnesses in the Black Community is a bit overdue. Growing up in a black family isn't much different than growing up in any other family in America. We have our ups and our downs, cherished memorable moments, and of course family secrets. By family secrets I simply mean there might be some things that don't necessarily want to be shared and/or made a topic of discussion. In my family one of those things happened to be the struggles of mental illness that wasn't frequently talked about possibly from shame, guilt, or plain old lack of knowledge of just how common mental illness is. So common that 1 in 25 adults experiences a serious mental illness in a given year. "Just pray about it." When you come from a Christian family often times a cry for help is answered with a reply to pray about it and that God is in control. You are urged to only have faith and believe that God can heal all, when in reality you can definitely do both. Black people don't go to therapy, we go to church." Mental illnesses can be very mild where church and prayer just might be enough to endure and build yourself up and manage. But on the other hand some mental illnesses can be extremely severe such as Schizophrenia, Bipolar Disorder, or like in my moms case Borderline Personality Disorder where medication and/or therapy is necessary to get you back to a functional medium so you can benefit from the works of whatever faith you believe in. I am in no way bashing those who rely on a higher power to get through the trials we face in life because I myself rely on God to get through each and everyday of my life. But I also recognize that treatment to an illness is nothing to be ashamed of or looked down upon. The masculinity in some black men hinder them from addressing their mental health.Black boys grow up knowing that they have a very high standard to meet when they become men and that stems from their parents making them very aware of what that looks like. Black men have a lot of pressure on them from family and society to be stronger, work harder without complaining, and stand out with their work ethic to prove that they are not lazy. God forbid they ask for any help even when they are trying to do their best or show any sign of struggle due to depression or anxiety. "Stop crying, you're just being lazy." The domino effect from pressure and judgement can produce negative results which enables mental health to go down hill. The impression that grades and getting a job to start providing for your family as soon as you turn sixteen being more important than mental health won't produce the desired results. It might actually produce an insecure and irresponsible man who already has adapted to his reality that mental health is not important. A strong black woman.The concept of being a strong black woman comes with being completely selfless and often times putting yourself last which is the last thing you want to do when you are feeling overwhelmed with your mental health. If you can't handle life in this day and age when things are a lot more accessible to black people then you are considered weak. Many people have the opinion that it's unacceptable to have a mental illness and still uphold the standards of a strong black woman. In reality this is a stigma that is attached to black women and it needs to stop. I've had my own struggles as a black woman coping with my mental health such as experiencing post partum depression, anxiety, and grief after my mother died by suicide. All this occurred after my daughter was already 15 months old so I made the decision to get help and start therapy which was a lot easier than I thought it would be. I researched a therapist the same way I researched a Dentist or an Obgyn doctor. It came so natural to me to get help as quickly as possible and not let my mental health deteriorate from the overwhelming idea of having all these feelings inside me while trying to care for a baby and be a wife to my husband. At the end of the day you have to do what's best for you regardless of how many unwanted opinions you get. And that's exactly what I did and implementing better coping skills became more and more natural. Change can only come from awareness, conversation, and those willing to listen. I'm not one to stand on a soapbox and start preaching what's right or wrong in this world because I hate the spotlight and I like to be the one listening and analyzing but I've gotten to the point where enough is enough. It's time to break cycles and start talking about why mental health is put on the back burner and ok for some people to acknowledge and not others.
3 Comments
Tenesha Marie
8/7/2017 12:34:54 pm
Thanks so much!
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First. I am white. Shiny, translucent, burn after 5 minutes in the sun white.
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